Wednesday 24 December 2008

Bump pictures

With just a few weeks to go, here's the state of progress.

At my final hospital check-up on Monday, the midwife told me I was lucky as my stomach was all baby. I didn't quite realise it was until I saw the picture below. It looks like I swallowed a rugby ball.

My stomach looks like a bulging circus - I've stratched myself in my sleep, my tattoo is expanding and there's a horrible mark where my narvel piercing was. Still no stretch marks though...yet!

On another note: After chatting with my lovely midwife, Lesley, we discovered that her husband did The Fling this year and is doing it again next year. And he's hoping to go on the reserve list for a WHWR next year. Lesley is part of Jim Robertson's (12 times WHWR finisher) JogScotland group. It's a small world, eh?

Happy Christmas everyone. Hope Santa's good to you. And don't forget to have a wee glass of wine for me. Unless, of course, you're preggers too.

Tuesday 23 December 2008

Mary takes the turkey...with a little help from Joseph

Sunday was the club's annual Christmas Handicap race. The idea is that everyone dresses-up as Santa and embarks on a 3.25 mile race round Bearsden. Last year I decided to buck the trend and go as an elf.

This year, I'd need more than magic dust to get into the elf suit, so Sonic and I decided to go as Mary and Joseph. Mind you, I don't think a pregnant elf is a good look.

New club handicapper, Paul (Brother of Sonic) was in charge of allocating the times. The idea is that everyone sets off a different times and should (theoretically) finish around the same time. So faster runners should catch slower runners towards the end. Given that I'm eight and a half months pregnant and haven't run for over three weeks, Sonic and I were set off first.

It wasn't the easiest three miles I've ever run. There were lots of steep inclines. The uphills had me gasping for breath and the downhills bashed my bladder. It was quite comical running along the switchback with the cars beeping at us. Papa Sonic even came out to video the occasion. I hope the passers-by were impressed with my bump prop. I bet they didn't think it was a real bump though.

During the last half mile, the first Santa appeared behind me. I was in danger of being piped at the post. Evil Santa was being boo-d by the supporting crowd as he closed the gap in the last 50 metres. Thankfully Joseph managed to fend him off with his crook...and we all crossed the finishing line together. But the bump was first over, so won the prize...of a giant frozen turkey %-) Mary and Joseph also won the prize as the best dressed, so it was a good day all round.

Mary and Joseph finished the 3.25 mile route in 36.01 with an average pace of 11.28 m/m. I can't believe I actually put that pace on my blog! :-) I have to admit, I did have to take a few walking breaks on the hills. And check out the profile.

Paul did a fabulous job as handicapper, as everyone else finished within minutes of us. He'll know next time to mess it up and not get landed with the job.

Friday 19 December 2008

Guessing game...for a bit of pre-Christmas fun

I'm finding it quite comical that everyone wants to guess the gender of the baby. Even strangers like to get their bit in. The funny ones are the adamant ones. You know, the "I-never-get-it-wrong" pensioners. My 83-year-old gran is one of them. Except she changes her prediction everytime I see her.

So far I've heard:

"You're all to the front, it's definitely a boy"
"It's a high bump, so it's a girl"
"It's a girl - look at the weight you've put on round your hips"
"A small bump means it's a girl"
"No morning sickness? Ah it's a boy"

Old wives tales are fun, but that's it. There really is no truth in them...or is there? Here are a few of the classics:

Girls are carried high and boys are low. I certainly have a very high bump. So high in fact, that I don't need to wear maternity trousers. I've got two pairs that I can't wear, without holding them up. I'm still wearing the regular jeans I bought in August. I did have to go up a size to accommodate my growing hips though. Really the way women carry is the way you carry is determined by muscle and uterine tone and the position of your baby.

Carrying extra weight on the hips, means it's a girl. And all front, it's a boy. Sh*t I think I'm doing both.

The shape of the belly is also used. Watermelon for a girl and basketball for a boy. I look like I've swallowed a football, so I'd have to go with the latter.

If the hair on your legs is growing faster, then it's a boy. Really? I haven't noticed any change in hair growth.

If the Dad-to-be is gaining weight too, then it's a boy. Sonic, care to clarify? Bearing in mind that Sonic can demolish huge amounts and still look like a manorexic.

It's a girl if the the maternal grandmother doesn't have grey hair. Does this mean my Mum or Sonic's Mum? I'm not sure either will know what their natural hair colour is. Although I'm sure they'll both protest that they're natural blondes.

If your chest development has been quite dramatic, then it's a girl. I would say four inches and two cup sizes is quite dramatic, wouldn't you?

You're having a boy, if your feet are colder during pregnancy. Who thought this one up? My feet are always cold, so who knows.

If you're craving salt and meats, then it's a boy. Sweet things, it's a girl. I've never been much of meat eater. Actually I was a vegetarian for 14 years. I usually go for chicken and fish, but I've gone off that completely. Or at least I've gone off cooking it. And has there ever been a pregnant woman who hasn't hit the chocolate?

Morning sickness early in pregnancy, it's a girl.
I didn't have morning sickness at the beginning, but I'm making up for it now.

The babies heart rate is sometimes used as a "predictor". Less than 140 it's a boy and more than, it's a girl. At the last check, my baby's was 140.

If you look better during pregnancy, it's boy. And it's a girl if you look a bit rough. Apparently the theory behind this is a baby girl steals her Mother's looks.

There are also lots of random theories...You crave orange juice for girls, like the heel of a loaf for boys, your nose spreads with a boy and your pee is dull yellow if it's a girl. Also if your asked to show your hands...if you show palm up it's a girl and palms down it's a boy. But my favourite is how you hold a mug. By the cup it's a girl and by the handle it's a boy. All very bizarre. You've got to love those old wives for their tales.

There's also quite a traditional test involving a piece of string and a wedding ring. If you dangle the wedding ring over the bump, it circles for a boy and goes side to side if it's a girl. I've still yet to do this one.

There's also the Chinese gender prediction chart: Legend states that the Chinese Gender Chart was buried in a royal tomb near Beijing over 700 years ago. The original is allegedly currently in the Institute of Science in Beijing.
Rumour has it that this chart is over 90% accurate. Basically, it's based on the age of a the Mother and the month of conception. I'm 33 and Baby C was conceived in late April or possibly very early month.

So there you go, folks. Make of it as you will. If you would like to have a guess, I'm willing to run a wee contest.

Just leave me your guesses for

weight (please be kind!)
Date of birth. The present EDD is January 19

Happy guessing.

Monday 15 December 2008

Sexy, eh?

Who said pregnancy is glamorous? And what thicko said pregnant women are beautiful? OK I have to admit I DID think pregnant women were beautiful and radiant, until I actually became one. It makes me what to cry when I read some super-thin celebrity saying "I've never felt sexier". Really? Liar! What's sexy about it? At my debut appointment with my GP last week, he started with a few questions about my general well-being. When I responded that everything was fine 'n' dandy, he continued: "So have you been bothered with insomnia, depression, thrush, haemorrhoid's, varicose veins, leaking nipples, itchy skin, swollen ankles...?" Jeez. Who signed me up for this? Thankfully I could shake my head until he mentioned "heartburn and ingestion". My pink bottle of Gaviscon goes everywhere I go. I even take it to bed for emergency midnight swigs. The worse thing about the heartburn is that it makes me feel sick. And when I'm sick, the heartburn is 100 times worse. It's a vicious circle really.

Just to reinforce how unglamorous I feel: Last week during one of my late-night recycling sessions, the vomit was so projectile it actually hit the wall BEHIND me. And as I was spewing and coughing, my full bladder was getting so squashed that I was wetting myself a bit. Sexy, eh?

Better still, it's going to get worse. My hospital bag is packed full of girlie delights like breast pads, nipple cream. maternity towels and HUGE pants. I swear the scouts could use them as tents. They should be buried under the floorboards and nailed down.

On a more positive note, it's the first time in years that I've had a full set of toe-nails. I just a shame I won't be able to see them for much longer :-)

Friday 12 December 2008

Leg cramps

Thanks to Tim's worldly-wise advice, I have been knocking back the tonic water. It would be a whole lot better with a dash of Bombay Sapphire, some ice and a slice of lime, but I'll have to bank that until next month. So far, so good, as I haven't had anymore painful calf cramps.

Whilst polishing off another bottle last night (I don't even bother with a glass anymore) Sonic asked to try some. I knew he wouldn't like, but he took a small sip and his face said it all. It was like trying to feed a toddler brussel sprouts. Anyway during the night Sonic's calves cramped and he practically kicked me out of the bed before shrieking: "see that tonic water stuff doesn't work"...And that folks, is another snippet of my life...

Thursday 11 December 2008


The midget is head down, so the breech drama is over. Phew! The world can start spinning again. Well, as long as the baby doesn't spin back :-) To say I have been obsessed would be an understatement. I've spent the last two weeks swimming, on my hands and knees or hugging a gym ball. I even went for acupuncture last week. It's a non-invasive treatment called moxibustion, which basically involved lighting cigar-like sticks under the small toes. Bizarre, I know. But at the first session the baby was doing somersaults. And the next day, my ribs became a kick-bag. The acupuncturist gave me a stick to take home, to repeat the treatment every evening. Let's just say the scent was less than pleasant. Sonic and I have been high for a week. I'm surprised our neighbours haven't phoned the drug squad. As Sonic falls into the left-brained-everything-must-have-a-scientific-explanation, he's unconvinced. But hey, this form of Chinese medicine for breech babies has a high success rate. And as our baby is head down and ready for action, I'm not even slightly concerned how it got there.

The midwife confirmed the good news yesterday. Really I don't know how they can tell the different body parts, just by prodding about. It all feels like a hard football to me. She did say the baby had a really hard butt though. So that's where my buns of steel went :-) She also said it's highly unlikely the baby will turn back, as first-timers have tight stomach muscles to hold it in place.

On another note, I have to mention my blogging buddies who are suffering from "man-flu". Pah! And this is why men don't have babies. The video makes me giggle everytime.

Tuesday 9 December 2008

Mirror, mirror on the wall. Who's the fattest of them all?

Every morning when I get up, I go through to the spare room to check my growth status in a full-length mirror. This many seem extreme, but I swear my stomach grows overnight. So far my belly-button has stayed in tact and I don't have any stretch marks. I'm not sure whether is the crazily expensive Clarins cream that I'm using or the fact that they just haven't appeared yet. Apparently it's genetic and my Mum and Sis duly inform me "that you'll just wake up covered in them one day". In the meantime, I doing a stomach inspection every time I'm near a mirror.

With the growth, everyday tasks are becoming a bit of a chore. Who would have thought tying shoelaces would be so exhausting? I'm still enjoying my daily swim, as I feel totally weightless. It's the getting out of the pool that's quite comical. Have you every seen a performing seal flop it's fat body on the poolside? Well, your visual wouldn't be far wrong. I know I should use the steps, but that's too much like logic. Natalie - I had to bite the bullet and buy a maternity swimsuit. Oh the glamour.

I doubt I'll be able to run again, as my calves are a mess. I keep getting cramp in the middle of the night. The other night I shot up completely rigid, but couldn't quite reach my toes to pull back and ease the pain. Thankfully with all my moaning and rolling about like a beetle stuck on it's back (there's another glamorous visual for you), Sonic woke up and helped me out.

Tomorrow's my D-day appointment with the midwife to see if the midget has turned. Keep your fingers crossed for me.

Thursday 4 December 2008

Another song dedication

This one is from Rachel

"This is a song for my friend Debs who is expecting her 1st baby in January. Song dedications and soundtracks for the birth have already been posted. This is just a wee song that was sent to me today. All I can really say to Debs is:- even though you think you will never say these will!!!!;-)"

I'm not sure this woman actually takes a breath...

The Mom Song from Northland Video on Vimeo.

Wednesday 3 December 2008

New recruit for WHWR 2009

I bought this postcard from Tiso, as it made me giggle.

I'm sure Karen D and Ellen would be fighting for leading lady if this was behind them :-)

Tuesday 2 December 2008

All going swimmingly

Still swimming. Actually, I've know become addicted to swimming. During yesterday's 80-length parade, I even considered training for a triathlon. But I knew it was the lethal mix chlorine and hormones sending stupid signals to my brain. Although I do admire triathletes, I will always admire them from afar.

Due to time constraints this week, I'm planning on swimming at lunchtimes. In a vain attempt to keep my hair dry - it's a bit of a drama trying to dry long hair twice a day - I invested in a swimming cap. I picked up a snazzy pink one at the weekend, which I thought would co-ordinate lovely with my black and pink swimsuit. Little did I now that when I stretched the material and put it on, I would look like I had a condom on my head. It definitely wasn't the look I was going for. So there I was by the poolside with a large bump and a contraceptive-looking device on my head...probably gathering looks that suggested "well, we know how she got knocked-up" :-) The worse thing about it was my hair was still soaking wet.

Thanks to everyone who commented, emailed and texted regarding my "Breech Baby" post. I know there's still time to get the midget to turn, but it hasn't stopped me being a drama queen! I'll keep you posted on progress.

Monday 1 December 2008