Thursday 13 October 2011

Don't try this at home, folks

Following my recent race report, I've been accused of making the 24-hour sound "quite nice". In reality, the aftermath was much less pleasant than the event itself.

When I finished the race, I was congratulated by an official from UKA ...only to be informed that I was selected for random drug testing. I thought this would have been a simple affair. Wrong. I was whisked off to a campervan, where I had to be helped up the two steps. Sonic was required to join me as my official witness. I had to fill in numerous forms, sign confessions, declare all medical consumption and wear surgical gloves to open and close various tubs and tubes. Then the representative had to escort me in the portaloo to watch me wee. Quite literally watch me. I would have been mortified, but I was totally passed caring. At first I thought I was going to have stage fright or be too dehydrated to perform, but when it started flowing I didn't think I would stop. So I was standing squealing and cursing as the tub overflowed and covered my clothes. After wearing the same pants and tights for 24 hours, I doubt it would have made any difference.

Anyway the result was so horrifying it deserved a picture for the blog. This is quite special, don't you think? More water, less coke maybe?

(Yes, this was my first post-race pee!)

After my ordeal was over and I was seated and covered in a blanket to control the shivering, I watched the GM violently puke in a bucket before her lifeless body we carted off to the hotel. She has turned a cartoon-style colour of green. I thought it was quite comical that Val and Sue (team Scotland volunteers) had to strip her and put her in the bath. Until of course Sonic had to get me out of the bath, dry me and put my underwear on. Ah, the romance.

After I was escorted to bed and slept for about 20 mins (damn that adrenaline!) - and the majority of that was spent trying to turn over - we went out for nice Italian meal. It more a case of devouring every carb on the menu. We were so scooped, we couldn't even finish a GLASS of wine. I've never been know not to finish a BOTTLE of wine.

And this, dear reader, is the classy restaurant exit of the international athletes...

That evening my calves and ankles became one - and ballooned quite specularly. Sonic woke at 3am to find me clutching the door frame of the bathroom and wailing about how it took me 30 minutes to get there. I needed assistance for quite a few days and got lots of bizarre looks when shuffling about the streets.

My legs took about a week to resume normal shape and my "cankles" were the joke of the office for a few days. Thankfully, they took pity on me and published a nice story. I think the Editor felt obliged :-)


SteveQ said...

Ooh... that looks like rhabdomyolysis. Had that happen once and was scared to death.

You might want to edit to "put my underwear on me" - I'm laughing at the thought of Sonic wearing yours.

Kaz said...

Too funny! So you are human after all. I walked like that after the Fling - in fact I had to come down the stairs on my bahookie as I couldn't even be as 'elegant' as you two lovely ladies. God knows what I would look like after a 24hr race!
That pee is seriously concerning! You really, really need to work on your ability to hydrate and fuel while running!
Hope you had a good hol and that your cankles have deflated!

Anonymous said...

I looked at the picture first,and thought it looked like a tasty jar of honey.......

Guess I'll now be double checking the label next time I get my honey out the cupboard...... :-)

Great blogpost, and very bold of you to go so public, and into so much detail, on the after effects of such an event. So it's not just a case of smiling, collecting medals, eating lots, and resuming training after a couple of days rest.

Hopefully the ecstacy of your new record, and the medal, go some way towards alleviating the agony that your spell out so graphically.


Colin Knox said...

Honey? Mmmm, looks more like cuprinol wood stain. Did it do what it said on the tin?


ultra collie said...

that post was so funny debs..loving the walk and the pee! bet you were right as rain three days later mind!

John Kynaston said...

Having witnessed the immediate aftermath of your race I can honestly say you gals gave it your all.

I remember Richie saying once that after a 24hr race you go from being the fitest you've been to being overtaken by the slowest granny on the way to the shops!

Glad to hear you are running again and back to 'normal' ....

PS ... love the video

Santababy said...

scarey! i might rethink that *i want to do a 24hr after being inspired by you* thought

Fiona Rennie said...

Pot and kettle Missy!
I didn't race Loch Ness I only ran it, and well over half an hour over my PB too.
Hard core not fainting after 24 hours! x

Tim said...

Golly Debbie, you don't do things by halves, do you?! I agree with SteveQ that it looks a lot like rhabdomyolysis but it's not easy to tell from the photo. (
In RM, the urine may be brown (& frothy) due to muscle breakdown products. It can be a serious condition but it seems like you've escaped the nasty aspects of it. Still, it would be worth checking out the link so that you know more about it in future.

Davie said...

I remember handing in my pee after then WHW race in 2009 and thinking I had that long word thing it was so dark. Then the dr showed me the other samples and I was classified as "moderately coffee coloured". I'm pretty sure not one diagnosis was made that year.
Think Kaz should read the race guidelines before suggesting you should be more hydrated!
How was Madeira?